Running.

Today is the official start date of my 12 week training for the half marathon! I "ran" yesterday with hubby and man were we wore out half way thru our 2 miles. We were nothin' but excuses! "It's so hot" "Yeah, and isn't it humid today?" "I should've drank more water" "Me too... and I shouldn't have eaten" "My foot hurts" "I have to poop" etc etc... So I run today and no excuses! I've hydrated pretty well and I'll have a quick snack soon to give me energy, I already pooped and I cut my toenail that was making my foot hurt!

There was a pop trivia quiz on Facebook and the first correct responder would win the entrance fee to their choice of races, well I didn't win.... BUT my cousin did and since she already paid for hers she is trying to see if they will give it to me :) Lucky lady huh?

So, today I run and tomorrow I write.

New Guy

I've had my current job for going on oh, a month now. The first week I was hired the 2 people who were in charge of training me went out of town... the week after that they were both too busy to train me because they were playing catch up and it was easier to do things themselves then to train me on how to do it. Week 3, new president. This guy, aptly nicknamed "cold blooded killer" seems to have it out for us all. I've been talked to several times already by other employees about not joking around and being myself anymore because they would hate to see me on his s**t list. That's the only list I ever seem to make it onto. I can't stand the thought of trying to be somebody else. I like me. It isn't fair that because I have a sense of humor and a quick wit I get put on the radar. I do my job, I'm smart, leave me alone!

He's gone for the day and you can feel the relief in the air, everyone glad to have made it another week. Wish us luck.

Preparation

I've decided to run a half marathon in 2 1/2 months. I'm not really a runner but I think it would be a great goal to work towards. Last night I did 5k (which sounds better than 3.1 miles) and my body is feeling it today. I'm terrible at following thru with things and I hope I'll be able to make it! Updates to follow on the progress.

In other news I've stopped taking the pill because I think it is responsible for my horrible attitude and lack of sex drive. I'm happier now and hot for my hubby again which makes him happy as well. When I told him I was off the pill his eyes lit up and I could see visions of a little boy in his head... we'll see!

Spicy

So the drought is over! Hubby and I started getting pretty hot and heavy last night and then the baby started to bawl! They know how to ruin a moment don't they? SO, we go upstairs to put her to bed and as I crawled into bed to wait for my man I fell asleep... as soon as my head hit the pillow I was out. I woke up in the morning to two untouched shots of tequila on the night stand with a blindfold next to them and a bowl of what used to be ice, but is now just tepid water. My poor guy had some plans for us and came up to a passed out wife. I felt terrible for him and as I spooned up to get in some cuddle time before work it became quite apparent that he was still in the mood :) SO, details omitted, drought over.

He told me I had a package coming to my office so all morning I've been pestering our receptionist about when UPS normally arrives. They got here earlier than usual and I got my suprise around 10:30am. Luckily for me I didn't open it until I got into my office... Hello pink and purple fishnet and lace bustier and stocking set! I wonder what he has in mind for this weekend?....

I'm glad things are back to normal.

Meaningless Meetings

I could be home loving on my daughter right now. This is what I'm thinking as I sit in on yet another mind numbing meeting. My morning meeting used to be attended by Myself (the Boss), baby (my VP) and Ellen Degeneres, via NBC. We met at 10am on the couch, wore our fluffy robes and had a snooze afterwards. My morning meetings are now at 8:30am so I'm sliding into the room with coffee in one hand and notebook in the other while swiping at the still slightly damp hair in my eyes. I try like mad to keep my eyes open as the men take turns repeating the bosses reason for calling the meeting into order, each of them priding themselves on taking longer to do so than the man before him. Keep in mind that though we may sit here for an hour and a half nothing gets decided and another follow up meeting is scheduled. I, in the meantime stare at my bosses finger and wonder what he did to it to make it jut off in such a bizarre angle.. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my job and I know that it sure is easier being here than at home some days, i just wish that there was a little more meaning to the position... something that makes it worth being away from the baby, other than the obvious monetary benefits, a paycheck, 401k, benefits...

I had a dream I was pregnant last night. I'm not sure if I was happy or upset... I think I had it because I've stopped taking the pill since dear hubby and I haven't been up to anything that makes taking it neccesary. Speaking of which I was feeling bad about that last night so I gave him a little "massage" before bed. I'm pretty sure he was appreciative but afterwards he said to me "I hope you didn't do that because you think I'm going to cheat on you. I love you and you're mine forever". Awwww. :) What a catch huh?

Catch up summary!

Since my last blog, in a nutshell- got married, got pregnant, got fired (how dare I get pregnant!), had a baby, got a new job.

So I had a beautiful baby girl and I've never been so much in love. She's 2 1/2 months old now and I've been thru the wringer of "mom guilt" already.

The master plan was for me to be the stay at home mom while my husband worked. This was the first guilt trip. I felt terrible that I wasn't contributing in a monetary fashion. My husband told me that me staying home and keeping the house up while raising the baby was the most important job, don't stress, etc.. etc..
Well, then I get a job interview (that I don't even want) and lo and behold the roles are reversed.

I've been working and my husband is at home. NOW I feel guilty that I had to quit breastfeeding and go to work. I find myself whispering to my little girl "I'm your mommy.." so she doesn't forget. I can still see her little face looking up at me the last time I breastfed her and it broke my heart knowing it would be the last time. It's hard being a mommy. It's not fair that we feel guilt for staying home and guilt for going to work! There is no right thing to do is there?

I'm working about an hour away from work and that leaves me about 4 waking hours to be mommy. It's easier now but the first few weeks were killer. I felt like a horrible person, leaving my baby at home to be raised by **gasp** her father!? What will he teach her? Will her first words be DaDa? Will I come home to have her walking already? I feel like I'm going to miss out on everything and I'm so jealous that for now, my husband is getting to be there for it all while I work on budgets and POA's.

It's also difficult coming home to a messy house and not blowing up at my husband. The last thing I want to do when I get home is clean but I guess that doing some laundry and picking up the house is better than yelling at my husband and making him want to divorce me. It doesn't help the situation that I'm still hurting in the nether regions and our sex life has dwindled down to nothing lately. GUILT.... I don't know what to do? I'm tired and I don't feel very sexy... It made it even worse when the local morning radio show was talking about how even when everything else in the relationship is good a man will cheat if the sex isn't there.. Well guess what? The sex isn't there and lately everything else could use a little tuneup as well...

Habit Forming

I go home tonight **fingers crossed** I'm trying to catch a midnight flight so I can get home early so My Guy and I can drive down to Florida to see his family. Speaking of which Monster in Law is on T.V..... I'm not sure how I feel about his "Florida family" they are nice enough I suppose but they aren't very emotional and it's difficult to get a good read on them. They didn't exactly seem overjoyed when My Guy told them we were engaged. I think she's afraid of losing her little boy. Oh well. I'm excited about the wedding and if his mama isn't then I guess that's too bad. On a side note TNT just called the Wedding Planner "another dramatic movie". I guess that's up to personal opinion....